Texting Etiquette

So, I haven't blogged in a while because I didn't really have anything to say, but I was thinking today of a conversation that my sister, Katie and I had before I came back to school.

We were talking about texting and some frustrations that come with the whole process. Some things that I figured I'd share with you.

Here are some of the frustrations that I've experienced and some suggestions on what to do to avoid them:

1. A convo that just ends out of the blue. The easiest way to avoid this is to say something to close out the convo; such as goodbye or later. Unless I'm going to see you in a few minutes, some sort of ending should take place...we do this in face-to-face convos, right? I'd even settle for the lone 'K'.

2. Things are said that could be taken in the wrong way. Due to the fact that one can't hear the inflections of the other person, important conversations or those that could be taken in more than one way, should be saved for face-to-face/phone-to-phone conversations. If you must say something that could be taken a different way, please use emoticons...they're really not that hard to throw in. Besides a smile could just make things "sound" better. :)

3. Lack of punctuation and ridiculous abbreviations. I'm all for abbreviating words, if they will make sense to the other person, otherwise one should not use them. Also, it will not harm anyone to add punctuation, the correct one of course to your texts. Punctuation can make all the difference: Let's eat Grandpa! or Let's eat, Grandpa! Also, it would really help differentiate between a statement and a question.

4. The same person is always starting the convo. This is something I know far too much about and in order for me to not continue being this same person, I've stopped initiating the convos with those who've not initiated a convo with me. If you are in a relationship with people, there needs to be some give and take from both sides; it can't all be done solo. If they want to be a part of your life, they'll initiate a convo, if not...you'll have to cross that bridge when that time comes.

5. Huge time lapses between sent and received texts. The reason I love texting is you can get back to someone when you have the time. However, some times it seems as though the span of time between the messages is large enough, a voicemail might have been a better way to go. If you are in a situation where you're not going to be able to carry on a convo, make sure the other person knows this, that way, they're not left wondering if you don't have an answer or you're trying to remember how to text. No one should get mad at someone for saying they're busy and can't talk. Just make sure if you've told someone you're busy, remember to pick up the convo when you're free.

There are a few of my frustrations and suggestions I think would help. I'm sure I could think of some more, but this is it for now. If you have any frustrations to add or suggestions, I'd love to hear them! :)

Thanks for listening to some more of my ramblings...next on the agenda: figure out what to write for my next blog. :}

Midnight Musings ~ Friendship

Friendship...defined by Webster as the state of being friends (one attached to another by affection or esteem).

So what does that mean to us today? Do we really look at our friendships as something special or do we take them for granted? Are we too focused on ourselves and our wants that we forget about other people? Do we think that there is a one friend limit rule? Or are we too blind to see what's right in front of us?

To try and answer this, one would have to look at the different types of friendships that exist today. Here are a few that I have experienced in my life:

1. The 'I'm only going to be friends with you until my best friend stops being mad at me' Friend: This friend is only focused on making their best friend, who's NOT you, jealous. This can also be seen in dating relationships as well. This person doesn't really care about what you're saying and may not even remember your name, but be sure that when their best friend is around, your jokes are funnier, your clothes are better and you suddenly become an all around amazing person. Just don't let all that go to your head, because the minute the best friend is out of range, it's back to the pretend listening and caring.

2. The 'I'm only friends with you because my best friend is your friend too' Friend: This friend is only there because their best friend is there. Nothing you say is as funny or clever and they really could care less about your thoughts and opinions. They say they're your friend, because they don't want their best friend to think that you all can't hang out together, when in all actuality, they would never hang out with you. This person is best left out of any secrets, since they would be perfect ammo for making your life miserable.

3. The 'I'm friends with you, because we go to the same school, but we really have nothing in common' Friend: This friend is the girl or guy that you meet your first day and because you're going to be spending the next 4 years with this person, you mutually decide (not verbally) that you're going to be friends. Throughout your school years, certain things may come up that you both share an interest in, but it's not enough. When you graduate and leave school behind, you're leaving behind those friends as well. Friends for a season aren't necessarily a bad thing, just not there for the long haul.

4. The 'I'm friends with your friends, so we should be friends' Friend: This person thinks that just because they are friends with your friends, this automatically gives them an in with you. For this person, they want to be everywhere that you are and hang on everything you say, but they really don't know you, because they're too focused on just being friends (in name only). This person is the one that will hang out wherever and whenever and try to make conversation with you, but they don't really know you. This type of friend can move into the next type, but that really depends on the person and whether or not they really, truly want to get to know you, for you.

5. The 'I'm friends with you, because I enjoy hanging out with you, but we also can have serious conversations' Friend: This friend is someone that should be cherished, because they are hard to find. This person truly cares about you as an individual and lets you know it. This person gets to know you, your likes and dislikes, the good and the bad. This person is someone that you can trust your secrets to and know that they're not going to go tell someone else. This friend is one that will stand by you through thick and thin, the one that you can laugh with and cry with, the one that loves you at your worst and at your best. This friend, is a keeper.

These are just a few types of friends that I have encountered over the years and I must say that my favorite type is the last one. The journey to find such a friend hasn't been easy and there have been many others that have tried to fill that void, but until now there hasn't been a true one among them.

Some people find it interesting that I've never had a best friend and in truth, I did have one at one point in my life. At that time and place, I thought we were best friends; it took having a knife (figuratively) stabbed into my back to help me see that things were not what they seemed. Do I still hold some resentment towards her? I don't know if I'd call it resentment or learning from my mistake. I do know that because of that situation, it's taken me a while to trust others and even now, I don't trust very easily; it's something I'm working on.

I've learned to guard myself and hold people at arm's length...because I was and am afraid of getting hurt again. I thought that after high school, I wouldn't have to worry about it so much, but that's just another lie I told myself.

To this day, my best friend is and will always be, my sister. She's the only friend that hasn't let me down...except that once, but I've forgiven her, because she was being herself and thinking of others at the time and that's a quality that I look up to. She love's me, for me and all my screwed up faults and I love her for that. She's the one that's been there throughout every good and bad time that I've had and I can't wait to see what else is in store for us.

Is there a possibility of having more than one best friend? Of course! I am learning that sometimes when you're not looking for that best friend, God suddenly puts them right in your path and things just click. That's the best kind of friend! It all depends on the type of friend you are and the type of friend that you want; no one can tell you who to be friends with, that's all up to you. I just know I'm trying to be the type of friend that I'd like to spend time with; sometimes it's not easy, but with God's help, I'm trying. :)

*1 John 4:10-12

^"What is love? It is not that we loved God. It is that he loved us and sent his Son to give his life to pay for our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we should also love one another. No one has ever seen God. But if we love one another, God lives in us. His love is made complete in us."

The Innocence of a Child

Today I worked at CCA in the 2nd grade class; who knew they had SO much energy! I had a great time and I realized that they are so oblivious to so many things around them and yet their lives are so consumed with things that should not be for their age group.

While listening to some of their conversations, I was shocked at what some of them were talking about. So many of them are consumed with what they see on TV or in the movies, they don't realize that God has more in store for their lives.

Watching them play at the park, I saw them act their age...swinging, playing tag, climbing on the monkey bars; kid things. It wasn't until we were walking back to the school that some of the conversations turned back to things that no 8 year old should be thinking about; girlfriends, boyfriends, kissing and the like. I would LOVE to know what happened to days when an 8 year old only had to worry about getting chosen for kickball or getting a new Barbie or Matchbox car. Now the focus is on the outfits that one wears, the kinds of shoes one owns, the latest trends; stuff that is meaningless.

At least some things are still the same as when I was a kid; the girls were "grossed" out that the boys were going to be walking to the fountain without their shirts on. If only they would still think that for a few more years, that would be nice.

I did have an interesting conversation with my 1st graders though; it's crazy that they're getting so old now...not the little Kindergarteners that I used to know. I was sitting with them at lunch when three of the girls asked me a question that they've asked me many, many times before; 'Do you have a boyfriend?' This question has been answered every time with the same answer and this time was no different, I responded with,'No, I don't have a boyfriend.'

When this conversation comes up it's always interesting to hear what reasons the kids have for why I should or should not have a boyfriend. Well today, because P brought me a frappe that my mom had bought for me, M decided to ask if he was my boyfriend. To which I had to go on and explain that he wasn't and not only was he too young for me, but I was sure that he liked someone else. M asked me if I wanted to have a boyfriend and while there were so many things going on in my head when she asked that question, I've made it a point to not lie to my kids, so I told her the truth; yes, if that's what God wants for me, but he needs to love Jesus. To which she replied, 'Well, then I'll pray that he loves Jesus, cause that's the most important thing.'

It seems like when I get frustrated with the way that society is forcing itself on our kids, there's always a moment when a child doesn't act like the way society is telling them to act and says or does something that God wants them to do; something that is selfless and puts the needs of others first, something that we should have more of in our world, something that would please God.

That's one of the best things about working with children, you see the good, the bad and the ugly, but you also get to see amazing and wonderful things happen in their lives; if you're blessed enough, you'll get to be a part of that something amazing and wonderful. I know I am. :)

Ahh Haa Moments

Today in church, Pastor Scott was talking about 'Ahh haa' moments...you know, those moments where suddenly everything makes sense and things seem clearer. He focused the message on Saul's meeting with God, which is found in Acts 9:1-19.

Saul was minding his own business, well he was actually on his way to find more followers of Christ and more than likely arrest or stone them. It was on the road that God got a hold of Saul and as Pastor Scott said,it was like God reached down and smacked Saul on the back of the head, knocking him to the ground, so He could get his attention. Saul is asked audibly by Jesus, why he's persecuting Him, to which Saul asks who is talking to him. Saul is then told that he should continue to the city and he would be told what to do next. The men that were with Saul had to lead him to the city, because he was struck blind. When he got to the city, he fasted for three days.

Pastor Scott brought up an interesting point, something that I had never thought of before when I read this story; the Eastern world view. The men that were with Saul, didn't run in fear from a voice that came from nowhere, instead they were still there to help Saul get to the city. Those in the Eastern part of the world, expect the spiritual...while here in the Western part, we're shocked when things that can't be explained happen. Why is that? Why is it that we're so surprised when someone is healed from cancer or some other disease?

Our God is so amazing that no one word can describe Him; even the word amazing does notdo Him justice. Why shouldn't He be able to heal someone from a disease? Is He not the creator of everything? Sometimes I think we get too comfortable in our own little box and we get stuck in a rut. We go to church, but for what? Do we go expecting great things or out ofobligation or the feeling that we have to? For some, it's because their parents say they have to, for others, it's their spouse. What would happen if this mind set changed? What if we went to churchexpecting great things? What if we went because we wanted to? What if we went because we wanted to worship our awesome God with fellow Christ followers?

I think it's time for us to stop being so comfortable in church...comfortable in our worship...comfortable in our faith. It might be hard, but no one said that being a follower of Christ was going to be easy. James says in James 1:2-3 12, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

The journey of one who follows Christ is not going to be an easy one, but we are never going to have to go through it alone. God will always be there. Jesus said in Matthew 28:20b,"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

As Pastor Scott said,'Sometimes we fast after having an ahh haa moment, but maybe we should fast in order to receive an ahh haa moment.'

I'm ready to become uncomfortable and I'm waiting to see what God has in store for me. Have I had my ahh haa moment yet? I've had some little ones, but I'm not giving up and I'm going to live each day, expecting the spiritual. I don't want to be shocked when someone is healed, I want to be able to proclaim that it was the power of God that did it...nothing to be shocked about, just blessed and humbled.

*Thank You, God for showing me things that I need to change in my life and things that I need to let go of. I fail You each day and will until the end of time, but I know that You are constant and Your love for me is never ending, so I thank You for loving me, even when I don't deserve it. Help me become uncomfortable in my box, help me see You in everything. Show me the plans You have for my life, I'm waiting on You. I love You, Father and I am truly blessed to be Your daughter. In Jesus' name, Amen.*

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was this past Sunday and our pastor spoke about how Mother's Day started and talked about Hannah. His focus was about Hannah and the characteristics that she displays through difficult circumstances. Hannah displayed trust, patience and love even when things were not going well for her and because she did this, God blessed her greatly.

Hannah's characteristics of trust, patience and love are the characteristics that I see in those women I look up to; one of those women in particular is my Mom.

I know that I am blessed and sometimes I think I take that for granted, no...I know I take it for granted. When I was young, my Mom had to work and since my sister, Katie was the only one old enough to go to school, I was left in the care of a woman who is like my second Mom; my Aunt Wilma. The memories I have of spending time with Aunt Wilma are all good, of course, I'm sure I gave her some attitude at some point, but being with her there was never a dull moment...unless we were napping. :) Even though my Mom had to work, she was still very much a part of my life.

During my school years, my Mom was there; helping me understand that I shouldn't listen to what some big kids say (especially if it means climbing on the toilet seats), watching my debut performance in my 1st grade play (and not being able to help me when I fell off the stage), being involved in my classroom as much as possible, driving for field trips, cooking for class parties and being there for other kids too.

I believe that I was blessed by being able to share my Mom with others, not just with my three siblings, but with the other kids at school and church. It may sound weird to talk about sharing my Mom, but I know that there were many kids at school and church that either didn't have a good relationship with their moms or their mom wasn't in the picture...so, in a way, my Mom became like a second mom.

Our house was always open to those who needed a place to stay and my parents were always there to listen. This did not mean that they failed to give their own kids attention or listen to their problems. I think that my relationship with my parents is a special one. Conversations around our house were never dull and there was nothing that was off limits to talk about; like sex, drugs or alcohol.

Things are definitely different now that I'm no longer a teenager, but my relationship with my Mom hasn't changed that much. Of course, we've matured a lot in the things we talk about and our discussions have evolved from talking about cooties to more important things in life, but she's still there when I need to vent about something or when I need some godly advice. The one thing that hasn't changed is that I'm still sharing her with other people and I'm still okay with that. :)

I love my Mom and I know that although we've had our ups and downs and everyday has not been filled with rainbows and butterflies; she loves me and I love her. I don't know what I'd do without her and I can't wait for my kids (if that's God's will for my life) to be able to spend time with her. She is someone that I look up to and strive to be like; a woman who has godly characteristics and strives to do what God wants for her life.

That's my Mom and if it's God's will, I hope I'll be half the mom that she is to my own kids.

*Thank you, Mama for everything that you've done for me and still doing for me. I am SO blessed to have you as my Mom! Even though our relationship is not, nor will it be perfect, it's one that has taught me so much and I'm still learning. I love you, Mama!

(My Mom, Grandma and Aunt...three of the most important women in my life!)